The past two years have brought many changes and challenges. I have not posted anything, or done a show since last August. The truth is, I have not been active with my ministry Back To His Heart because I have not felt anywhere near to God’s heart lately.
As some of you know, my family has been on an incredible journey since quitting our jobs, leaving our home in Nashville, TN, and stepping out in faith with our drama ministry. Hard to believe that was 12 years ago now. Saying yes to God when it didn’t make sense put us in a place of having to trust Him completely.
We have been so faithful. We paid God first, tithing every month, even when it meant doing without. We literally gave everything we had to keep our ministry going. I have shared about our 72 index cards, keeping track of God’s often miraculous provision. Surely, because of our fearless faithfulness to God, He would bless us. Our bank account would be full, my book would be on the New York Times best seller list, and I would go on to great success making my living with my art.
None of that happened.
This past year, after 12 years of bookings for our ministry, we stopped getting invitations. Even our two standing gigs we did every year no longer wanted us. When the last one on the schedule for 2016 cancelled, I just knew my dream was over.
Our ministry was a good part of our income, so with no further bookings, Rich had to take a second job. I had to go back to work full time to pay the bills. We could no longer pay our mortgage on our home. In the coming months, I found myself stripped of my identity. I have performed The Story of Gomer hundreds of times, and Gomer and I had become one person. I really don’t know who I am without her. Being stripped of some of the things I loved most forced me into a place that broke my heart.
I truly felt my life had turned into a barren wasteland. I missed having a big house, I missed my coworkers at the Creation Museum, and I missed Gomer.
In the midst of the storm, I honestly felt abandoned by God. I guess I was really mad at God. All my faithfulness should have been some sort of golden ticket to…something better. Suddenly, I didn’t ever want to perform on stage again. I had to let theater go in order to survive working my new day job.
Then, out of no where, I got a call to join a cast of a start up local theater group. Would I be interested?
The show is called Horizons of Gold, set in the dust bowl in the 1930’s. A modern retelling of the book of Ruth, Horizons is the story of two women who lost everything, yet held on to hope.
As we rehearse, I find the lyrics ministering to my soul. Although all I see is dust, there’s still hope to hold on to…just keep breathin’, just keep livin’...so that’s what I am going to do.
You can see the show this August in the Northern KY/Cincinnati area. Click here for tickets.